with Cindy Lindsay Rael
A New Series on Divine Talk Radio
Listen to 'Dealing With the Shame of Mistakes':
Holding our mistakes, and resulting shame is the architect of a deeper unworthiness layered on our souls.
In Part I: Easing Mistakes from the Soul, we talked about admitting it and gave a beautiful soul process to release mistakes.
But what about the old things we did not admit and held, that have become a shame in us? That shame becomes an unworthiness. We need a process of not holding, and then self-forgiveness for those old mistakes. It is difficult to admit what we have been holding as our shame. We have to have the courage, to be honest and open-hearted. We are convinced people will reject us or see us and treat us differently.
We need to find a place of unconditional love to admit it.
But a lot of people do not have that, so we need:
- Non-judgmental Spiritual guide
We need a place to tell what happened to just get it out. Admit it. One of those places is the exercise in the darkened room with the candle from the past episode on erasing mistakes from the soul. But it is also nice to tell a living person.
As a healer, I have heard the confessions of shame of so many people. There is a kind of universal experience of that, it is just human.
First, everything I have ever hear is part of the human experience. Sometimes this is even part of my experience.
Now, no one has ever confessed anything like murder to me. But, I have to say, no one has ever told me their great shame and it has shocked or disturbed me. it is clearly just human. And their pain at that shame is so evident. It was easy to feel huge compassion for them. Most of what we hold as our deep shame is just human.
In my healing sessions, I do help them go underneath the shame and really see the forces at work that led them to do the mistake. Because if we are truly not going to do it again, we need to know what drove us to do it.
But you can also do this little trick yourself:
Imagine you earlier self
Get in a conversation with your earlier self and keep asking yourself why.
You cheated on that test; why?
I don’t know.
Yes, you do.
I had not studied.
So why is that a problem?
I didn’t do what I was supposed to and now I was going to fail.
And why can’t you fail?
My parents expect me to have good grades.
And if you do not have good grades.
I am not a good girl.
And if you are not a good girl what happens?
My parent won’t love me and will punish me.
This shows that underneath is a feeling that you have to be good enough to be loved and otherwise you will be punished. That is soul pain too.
Then go into your admitting experience. But admitting to someone who was not involved is easier than to someone who was.
So, let’s talk about how to admit to someone who was involved and may feel hurt. An example is one of my clients who hurt her sister.
First, start your admission from an internal state of unconditional love.
Second, engage the shower exercise enough to feel some peace within.
- Open your heart;
- Write a letter or have face to face or phone conversation (no texts please);
- Be humble;
- Be responsible;
- No blaming;
- No excuses;
- Admit—through the layers of it;
- Say you are sorry;
- Say you want it healed between you;
- Ask for forgiveness.
Some people will melt to that. In the case of my client, her sister did melt and said she felt such pressure from her parents as the oldest. She admitted that she took it out on my client. They had a great release. By the end of the call, they were making plans to get together.
But some people will not melt. They may blame you or try to re shame you.
Just stick to your open heart.
Stick to admitting, no blame no excuses.
Try to see with compassion that they reason they are coming back at you like this is their own pain.
Be compassionate to that: “I know that hurt you—I am so sorry.”
Repeat back to them how they feel hurt. See it, recognize it, and say you are sorry.
Ask for forgiveness.
For most people, this will work. If it does not, finally end the conversation with love. Then go back to your deity and give it away to him or her. Saying I tried my best. If you know some way I did not do it fully, bring that to me. Please, you take care of the heart of my……
Then after your admitting. Engage this practice of self-forgiveness and love:
- Go into nature
- Get a melting heart feeling
- Once you feel it—the God in everything, pray—let me feel this way about my self
- You may need to repeat multiple times—but it will help.
Cindy Lindsay Rael
has been an energy healer and teacher for 25 years. She has studied with Sri Kaleshwar since 2001. She is a graduate of Kaleshwar's Soul University in India and is a certified teacher of the ancient mantra and yantra systems. Prior to her work in the Vedic tradition, she studied, conducted healing, and taught in the Inca traditions of Peru. Cindy also earned a PhD. in Psychology and was a university professor and consultant.
Cindy conducts both distance and in-person healing sessions and teachings. To read more on her approach to Sai Shakti Healing see www.divinesoulhealer.com. In addition, Cindy offers Divine Baby Blessings to pregnant mothers and works with many issues of the Holy Womb (www.wombhealing.com).