We are happy to share our personal experiences of our first darshan of the Divine Mother with you. We hope these experiences will inspire your process. We are also sharing these experiences to share a transmission of the Mother's shakti that comes when we read or hear true personal experiences of the Divine Mother's darshan. In whatever form and moment the Divine Mother comes to you is part of your developing relationship with Her. The blessings of these priceless experiences will continue to unfold as your relationship with the Divine Mother grows.
With love always,
Monika & Nityaananda
Divine Lineage Healing Center
Laytonville, California, USA
My First Darshan of Mother Divine
by Nityaananda (Clint Thompson MD)
My first Mother Divine(1) darshan(2) was the fruition of the same shakti-energy(3) meditation process(4) that Monika describes in her account. Though we completed the same program as a single Mother Divine Process(5) group, my first Mother Divine darshan happened several months after Monika’s. Several others in that Mother Divine Process group also had Mother Divine darshan experiences as a result; another handful in the group did not. Even with the supreme clarity of the ancient spiritual formulas(6), and in the living presence of a sadguru(7), as Sri Kaleshwar would often remind: there is no guarantee.
I recalled those words often in the months following Monika and the others’ first Mother Divine darshan, struggling with my frustrated longing and still purifying(8) heart and soul. By that time in this life, I wanted nothing but Her; to see Her with my open eyes, to hear Her with my ears, to be graced to stand in the Five Elements(9) for just a few moments with Her, to speak and hear Her response.
I remember thinking, ‘I’m not seeing Her now? Why? She’s the Mother of everything in this creation. So where is She now, so that I cannot see Her?’ Thankfully, I would soon come to understand Her better. She is here. She is where you are right now. She is everywhere. She is with us. We are all Her children.
When we have darshan of our Divine Mother, we are connecting to the greatest aspect of God one can experience - The Divine Feminine Energy, the Womb(10) / Creator energy. Remember, Mother Divine is also the deluding power called Maya. Mother Divine darshan is a powerful and rapid path to realize who we truly are – one with God, one with All. We incarnate as a ‘separate soul’ to reveal through experience this truth and to do good works for the world around us. This ‘separate soul’ is part of Her Maya, divine illusion(11) . There is only one God awakening through individual experience to the true Self. God knowing itself as God. That is the purpose of this whole world, this God leela(12) . This is an inner meaning of the word ‘enlightenment.’ When any ‘separate soul’ awakens to experience unity, oneness with all that exists, at that moment it realizes it’s true Self – God. God realizes and experiences itself as God through human incarnations.
Mother Divine darshan is a powerful, engaged(13) path to this experience of enlightenment. Through each of our lives today God as Mother is making us to wake up, to grow up, remember who we are and why we took this present birth. When Monika asked Guruji(14) if Mother Divine darshan could be viewed as a technology of enlightenment, he smiled and said, “The TOP!”
This ancient understanding of God as Mother is new to many today, especially in the developed world and the West. Before meeting Sri Kaleshwar, I had not known the experience of God as feminine or worship of God as Mother. Life with Sri Kaleshwar introduced me to Mother from the beginning. Jai Guru! Jai Ma! Practicing the ancient knowledge(15) Guruji shared brought me back to Her. Sri Kaleshwar’s love and patience purified the ego attachments, aversions, and confusions that were keeping me from knowing Her eternal-presence.
Our Mother Divine Process group worked and lived together for the nearly three-month process. It began with satsang(16) - dozens of hours of precious time with Guruji, filled with ancient knowledge about our Divine Mother and Her Creation, shared during private group meetings at his ashram in Penukonda(17) . It was excitingas Guruji taught us how to call Her, prepared us to receive and digest the awesome power of Her shakti during darshan, and how to keep our hearts and minds clear during the experience. He also taught us to practice (as an athlete or performer does) for the moment of darshan with Her. He taught details of how to interact with Mother during darshan; how to stay alert and maximize the positive outcomes possible during those rare few moments(18) with Her. He was teaching us an ancient understanding of the ‘rules’(19) of a personal relationship with the Divine Mother, like both Jesus(20) and Ramakrishna Paramahamsa(21) achieved.
Next, he sent the group to Hampi(22) under strict and complicated dikshas(23) that covered virtually all aspects of our lives during this process. Each day we rose before dawn to begin our daily japa(24), traveling 30 minutes to meditate together in small groups at an isolated rivers edge. Each meal we ate with other group members; each night we slept in the same room as others in the group, to maximize everyone’s ‘odds’(25) for Her darshan. We worshiped Mother in this way for several weeks, until Guruji called us back to Penukonda.
A month or so after our return, six students(26) had Mother darshan in Penukonda; this group included Monika and two other Mother Divine Process group members. But not me. Guruji told me much, much later, ‘Mother kept you waiting for the right time.’
At the time, one of my big blocks(27) was always expecting something. I had a strong desiring character. I was very attached to japa meditation, the trance(28) stages and the promise(29) that trance during japa brings. The process we had completed was a very powerful meditation. During the japa we worked to see Her in everything around us, while chanting the ancient formula of bijaksharas(30) , a vibrational code that opens the chakras(31) to receive pure divine Cosmic energy and grow awareness of Her. That mantra(32) connects the soul directly to the hidden shakti of Mother Divine in nature through the Five Elements Channels.(33)
I felt very confident in fulfilling the process in all its requirements. I was sure I had not broken any dikshas. Still, I was still waiting. And waiting … It seemed like a long wait. But I deserved it – it was required. Forever I am eternally grateful for that experience—thank you Guruji, thank you Ma. When I least expected it, the Mother’s blessing came.
That’s the greatness of the Divine Father’s(34) energy. Within the Indian tradition there’s always a teacher—in India the teacher is called guru or master. The guru is an aspect of the Divine Father’s energy. Today’s age — the Kali Yuga(35) — is a highly negative time where an ocean of negative energy(36) is taken for granted as normal by most in their day-to-day lives, both inside and out. But this negativity is also a part of the Divine Mother—She is everything. Today Mother is Kali(37) . She is fierce, and She is fighting – purifying - that negative energy. This is one reason today that it’s not possible to approach Mother directly without a guru’s guidance and protection.
According to the philosophy of the ancient knowledge, when approaching the Divine Mother, one should be ‘sitting in the lap of the Divine Father, Shiva(38) .’ This is depicted in the common image of Ganesh(39) sitting on his father Shiva’s lap, while next to them Shakti (Mother) sits smiling. Shiva’s, or the Divine Father’s energy, has a special relationship with the Divine Mother. By ‘going through Shiva’ to Mother, we share the protection of their special Shiva/Shakti(40) relationship. The guru gives us the knowledge and the protection from the beginning as we grow our own Shiva energy channels(41), charge and purify the chakras. In this way we have high shakti-energy experiences we otherwise couldn’t reach or survive!
Finally, my nagging expectation, the active longing of ego, had eventually worn down and was gone. This was God’s grace, through the love of Mother and guru. Grace, at its very essence, is never ‘done’ or ‘earned’, but gratefully received. That evening, without knowing it, my awareness, my very being, was peaceful and satisfied (and therefore receptive to cosmic energy) – the perfect posture to receive a high shakti-energy experience.
I’d been away from the ashram for several weeks, ‘out of the energy’(42). One evening Guruji sent for me shortly after dinner. Meeting with him at his dhuni(43), he told me two other students were going to receive shakti energy experiences that night at a distant Mother Divine temple and told me I would be joining them as support staff, to be there in case of a medical emergency. We would be going into the Indian countryside and he said he was concerned there might be cobras. “Get your medical kit and come to the Baba temple to leave now,” he concluded. “There was a small chance you might get a little shaktipat(44), but probably not.” I felt no pinch. I was just happy to be with my guru and help. I was free of my old ego attachments. He watched me intently as he spoke, though I did not know why at the time.
Immediately after our conversation I got into an ashram car with the other two students and Guruji driving. Two other cars filled with Indian men support staff followed. We drove to a very ancient, powerful Mother Divine ‘Kali’ temple. Sitting seemingly ignored in the backseat while Guruji spoke animatedly with the other two students, I was awash in an inner peace I hadn’t known before. Instead of listening to the conversation with and hoping to be included in some way, I simply enjoyed the moment as it unfolded. Guruji’s dangerously fast driving thrilled me, the Telugu pop song he played loud on repeat moved me to tears; gazing out the car’s backside window at the dark night rural country side flying past, the joy of simply being alive consumed me. I was free from expectation. Miraculously, something inside me had finally surrendered to a new selflessness.
Arriving at the empty temple near midnight, everyone immediately got out of the cars. Guruji hardly seemed to notice me, other than telling me to sit outside the temple’s crumbling outer walls and to be available to support of the other students in the event of any medical emergency that might happen. At that moment, the awareness became conscious, ‘Nothing is really going to happen to me tonight. I’m here to help someone else. THANK YOU!’
This inner shift happened by grace, without any effort on my part. I sat on the raw earth outside the temple, my medical bags near me. It was a beautiful, balmy Indian night, unusually free of mosquitoes or other insects. The temple is surrounded by fields of rice paddies; there were no street or night lights visible, just fields of water and rice plants beneath a sky bursting with stars. I sat in silence in that pure nature, enraptured with the sounds of crickets, frogs and rushing water from a nearby irrigation trench. The murmuring of the others as they, one at a time, each went into the temple where Guruji was waiting, then returned many minutes later. For the entire time, I was wonderfully free from feeling left out, or jealous, or waiting for my turn. I was simply happy to be alive, to be enjoying that beauty.
Finally, the other students’ processes were complete, and we were getting ready to go. Chitti, one of Guruji’s Indian staff, suddenly appeared and said, “Oh, Swami wants you to help him in the temple now.” Not waiting for my reply, he turned and walked back towards the temple.
Following, Chitti guided me through a broken section of the outer wall, pointed towards the main temple, then went back as we had come, leaving me alone in the temple’s outer courtyard. I walked into the inner temple. This Kali temple is very old, built in the traditional style utilized thousands of years ago in the East, especially India. The devotee must pass through a series of rooms to reach the innermost chamber. The inner room is tiny, no more than ten feet wide and eight feet deep, filled by a massive murthi(45) of Mother Divine. Made of five metals(46), the murthi itself is a power object(47) with divine miraculous energy, an image of Her that exudes Her shakti through many different channels.
I didn’t know where Guruji was, only that he wanted my help. Walking slowly through the pitch-black outer rooms, I came to the inner chamber. Guruji stood in the doorway. His shape was dark, shadowed by the light of 2 small oil lamps behind him. With a flicker of his eyes, wordlessly he directed me to sit in a specific place. Not waiting for me to sit, he disappeared behind a tattered sari cloth that had been hung in the entrance for temporary privacy. I sat down where he indicated and waited. After a very short time, his head appeared from behind the cloth barrier, only long enough for his eyes to beckon me to come in, then disappeared again.
I quickly stood and walked to the inner chamber’s entrance. As I did, Guruji pulled the old sari back briefly to allow me to enter, dropping it again for privacy as soon as I entered. He said nothing, again indicating with his eyes where to sit. Now I sat with my back to the statue. The tiny chamber’s one small doorway was blocked by Guruji’s body and the sari cloth. The chamber’s small space was literally filled by the Divine Mother murthi, Guruji and my body. I sat gazing at my guru’s beloved face, now better lit by the altar’s two small oil lamps, waiting for the next instruction. I still did not realize anything was about to happen!
Then Guruji began to speak in a low, soft voice. His tone was thrilling as he gave me brief instructions, then gave me ‘a small shaktipat’ as he had said he might. The shaktipat didn’t last long. Suddenly, he looked past my shoulder and commanded, “Turn around and see Her!”
I thought he was talking about the murthi, so I turned around ‘expecting’ only to see that. At first that is what I saw, but then immediately the Divine Mother was standing there, directly in front of the murthi. She seemed to both step out from the murthi, and to appear out of thin air, at the same time. Suddenly She was standing in front of me in a physical form. She was perfection incarnate. In the next instant, as if by reflex without any volition I found myself on the floor at Her feet, in full pranam(48). Looking up at Her again, I saw beauty beyond any I have known, each and every aspect of Her. She held several weapons in Her hands. I can’t be sure how many arms She displayed. As I looked from one to another they seemed to change in number and appearance. Her hair, Her eyes, Her hands, Her feet, Her dress—everything about Her form was a magnetic beauty beyond description.
Guruji had taught us, if we focus on Her too long, we will merge(49) with Her. That would be a bliss for the soul, but the end of the incarnation! Still, I was immediately lost in Her. After what seemed to be an eternity (but was actually less than one minute) I heard Guruji’s voice as if from a long distance. As I focused on his voice, it got louder until I realized he was yelling, shouting instructions in my ear from above me to bring me back. Though he had warned us many times to be alert not to get lost in Her beauty, I would have been lost without his amazing love and capable presence.
Regaining partial clarity, I followed Guruji’s shouted instructions, repeating prayers as he instructed. Quickly this made me to remember the training from our Mother Divine Process group many months earlier. Worshiping Her as he had me practice 1000s of times, I stood and looked into the face of Mother. She met my gaze, Her eyes deepened to infinity, while I felt awash in God’s love that had palpable brightness and heat, like a noon sun. Then Guruji whispered in my ear from behind me, “Speak!”.
“Please bless me…”, I said without hesitation exactly what I had been taught by Guruji to say. Mother Divine smiled and looked again at my face directly. “I bless you,” She said in a voice I cannot describe well; it seemed to come from Her mouth, and at the same time resounded from the walls , floor, and ceiling all around me, and too as if She was speaking from inside my head.
Then She started to move Her hand on Her left side, Her open hand – Her blessing hand. The movement was quick, both soft and commanding at the same time. She moved Her hand, still held open, in a single slow circle, palm down, then turned Her hand over. She had manifested(50) something in the middle of Her palm. Awestruck I looked at Her open palm.
Throughout the darshan Guruji was standing behind me, in the curtained doorway of the inner chamber. At times it seemed Divine Mother was interacting with me, at other times She seemed to be interacting with him. Watching Her interacting with him, gleaning some ideas of Her relationship with him, was another amazing aspect of this darshan experience. The ancient knowledge teaches the channels for connecting directly with the Divine Mother. Sri Kaleshwar taught that everyone needs to experience Mother for themselves. “You have to experience that bliss for yourself—you deserve to, for that period of time and afterward.” Darshan of Mother Divine changes you forever.
At first this darshan experience was beyond my mind’s grasp. Afterward, over the next few days, the mind gradually seemed to catch up to what had happened. Her energy was slowly sinking in. Guruji had me stay in absolute seclusion for the week following that immense blessing. During the days that immediately followed darshan, I remembered the question that once came in frustration, “Where is Mother now?”
Now I knew the answer from experience: “She is everywhere.”
Since that time, everything is different. I know She is with us now. In this Five Elements creation, this play of duality(51), She wants us to know Her more than ever now. It’s okay to enjoy the material world of form and illusory ideas, but we should do it with a divine purpose. Let’s turn towards God in all forms, as God as Mother is coming into form to reach us. The miracle of connecting with the Divine Mother is real and possible for everyone. The miracle exists.
Everyone has equal birthright and eligibility for any divine experience. There’s no bad or better. Through the eyes of God, every soul is equal. Many, many people have had similar or equal experiences. Many who haven’t had this experience yet shortly will.
Connecting with Divine Mother, developing a direct relationship with Her, you know God is real and good. Such faith when based upon personal experience can never be shaken.
The ancient knowledge about God as Divine Mother and the formulas to reach Her for yourself are not just for a past time, or for the East; it belongs to all humanity, East, West, North and South. While Mother Divine darshan is the top spiritual aim, it is not a final destination; it’s the beginning of your real life!
(1) Female aspect of God. Mother of Creation. Creator of the Universe (nature) and the illusion (maya), whose dynamic power (shakti) is hidden in each of the five elements. She has infinite forms.
(2) Literally, ‘sight or view.’ The blessings conferred through seeing a saint, deity, or power object.
(3) God’s divine power; general term for spiritual energy, the focused dynamic creative aspect of cosmic energy. The primordial power that creates, sustains and destroys the Creation.
(4) Set of meditative and lifestyle guidelines to be followed strictly during a proscribed period of time in order to experience a spiritual goal.
(5) In December 2000 Sri Kaleshwar chose 11 students living at his ashram to form a group and practice a complex meditative process together with aim for all to receive Mother Divine darshan.
(6) The ancient spiritual philosophy and formulas from palm leaf manuscripts that comprise the body of Sri Kaleshwar’s teachings. A discreet branch of spiritual knowledge and mechanisms. A science of the soul describing the Divine Mother and Her Creation. Their source is divine revelation from angels, divine souls, Shiva, and the Divine Mother Herself. They are spiritual formulas that lead one to the realization of God in all Her/His aspects, including God’s power or shakti. As the quickest route through the soul’s stages of enlightenment, the guidance of a sadguru is mandatory
(7) Literally, “true guru”, one who is capable of taking the student’s soul to the highest state of final enlightenment and moksha.
(8) Process of identifying and releasing behaviors that express negative tendencies (blocks), replacing them with friendship, compassion, peace and unconditional love.
(9) The essential divine energy channels from which all of Creation is made: earth, fire, sky, water and air. Any soul in physical form is under their influence. Avadhuts, such as Shirdi Baba, are one with the five elements and are able to command upon them.
(10) Organ and energy center where all new creation occurs.
(11) Illusion; the divine force in Creation that veils and conceals the soul’s true nature and the underlying unity of all things with one God.
(12) The play of God; divine sport, diversion, or pastime. The leela expresses the relationship between God and His devotees. (Sometimes spelled as ‘lila’)
(13) Intended to be fully realized only through acting in the world on behalf of others.
(14) Affectionate term Nityaananda and others used for Sri Kaleshwar.
(15) The knowledge Sri Kaleshwar shared during his lifetime is from ancient palm leaf manuscripts written in the languages of Telugu, Sanskrit and Kannada, on specially prepared palm leaves; some are several thousand years old. Many contain the life stories of saints – the sadhanas they practiced, obstacles they faced, their experiences implementing the sacred formulas and spiritual philosophy being described. Some record divine revelation from angels, Mother Divine, Shiva, or divine souls, while others contain price- less mechanisms of yogic science. As a body of ancient spiritual knowledge, they have been protected and preserved, handed down through generations of saints over the millennia. These manuscripts are priceless proof of the existence of the cosmic channels.
(16) Literally, “true meeting,” spiritual discourse and teaching
(17) Literally, ‘great (penu) hill (konda)’; site of Sri Kaleshwar’s ashram, located in southern Andhra Pradesh State, 130 km north of Bangalore. The area is defined by an ancient mountain and has been a holy power spot for thousands of years. Since ancient times, innumerable Maharshis of all traditions have visited and/or lived here. Birthplace of Mahakali, and gurusthan of Dattatreya.
(18) Darshan experiences are limited to less than 9 minutes, the time Sri Kaleshwar called ‘golden moments.’
(19) Ancient body of knowledge concerning how to prepare, communicate, receiving something, and call Divine Mother back again for another darshan.
(20) The greatest saint of all, he who won Mother Divine, and who surrendered totally to her. He performed many miracles and told his disciples that one day they would do even greater things than he.
(21) 18 February 1836 to 16 August 1886. One of the most important Indian saints of modern times, revered by millions of Hindus and non-Hindus alike as a messenger of God. His teachings emphasized God-realization as the highest goal of life, love and devotion for God, the oneness of existence, and the harmony of all religions. Master of the cosmic channels. For many years, Parmahamsa had daily darshan of Mother Divine in Her form as Mahakali. His student Vivekananda was the first to bring Indian spiritual philosophy to the west in 1893.
(22) 350 km from Bangalore, 150 km from Penukonda, an ancient village in northern Karnataka state, India. Located on the banks of the Tungabhadra River, former capital city of the Vijayanagara Empire. At its zenith during the reign of Sri Krishnadevaraya over 500 years ago, Hampi rivaled any city on the planet as the wealthiest city on Earth. Hampi is home to many power spots including the Virupaksha Shiva temple and the Badava Shiva lingam.
(23) A vow to follow certain guidelines and restrictions specific to the sadhana undertaken. The practice of diksha creates powerful protection circles in high energy processes.
(24) Meditative repetition of a mantra.
(25) One benefit of practicing shakti-energy channel processes in concert with others is that if one person’s process wins the channel (receives Mother Divine’s darshan in this case), any other persons doing the same process can share in the darshan.
(26) Like process groups, Sri Kaleshwar generally gathered small groups of students together to receive Mother Divine darshan at a given time. The students would go into their darshans individually, one at a time.
(27) Negative, ego-based aspects of human behavior such as greed, anger, lust, fear, or depression (to name only a few).
(28) The heavy, drowsy, meditation stage. A super-peaceful stage when the highest divine melting energy is growing in you—you’re in a divine state at the time. In this divine trance state, there is a huge chance you can fulfill your desire––your intention—through your Brahma Consciousness.
(29) Practitioners of japa meditation aim to reach states of quiet mind and expanded consciousness, experiences that are sure signs of positive, successful meditation process.
(30) Seed, source. The initial syllable of a mantra containing the essence of the deity to which it belongs.
(31) Any one of the subtle energy centers in the body. The word also means “wheel.”
(32) A sacred word, verse or formula that creates powerful vibrations. Through divine mantras we can both receive cosmic energy and send energy for healing.
(33) Five channels of energy – earth, fire, sky, water, and air - that together make up the perceivable and imperceivable creation. A practitioner of the Five Elements Meditation Process create a connection to each of these five element channels.
(34) Male aspect of God
(35) The present age, the fourth and final Yuga of this Creation cycle. The ‘material age,’ in which people predominantly believe the material world to be the highest reality. The Kali Yuga is the darkest of the four Yugas, an age of highest negativity and suffering, in which most humans turn away from dharma and no longer seek God. Paradoxically it is the age when it is easiest to attain God-realization and moksha. Began 5000 years ago with the mahasamadhi of Krishna. The Kali Yuga is being interrupted now for the next 1000 years, starting in the year 2000, by a golden age of enlightenment, the Sai Yuga (a ‘fifth’ Yuga), under the guidance of Shirdi Baba.
(36) Vibrations of disturbance, stress, irritation, depression; can be related to any form of suffering.
(37) A form of Mother Divine; the Mother in Her fierce/terrible aspect.
(38) Transcendent, supreme, infinite undifferentiated God-Consciousness. The seed of the Creation, God in a quiescent undifferentiated state, consort of Shakti. As a proper name, the Divine Father, the male aspect of God. Also refers to the destroyer Shiva of the Hindu Trinity.
(39) The elephant-headed son of Shiva and Mother Divine, Ganesh is the great remover of obstacles. Also sometimes called Ganesha or, less formally, ‘Trunkman.’ Ganesh’s boons are knowledge and prosperity.
(40) Understanding how our creation is formed by the union of Father/male/Shiva and Mother/female/Shakti energies.
(41) A channel of energy created between two people or aspects of the creation, linking them together.
(42) Nityaananda had been traveling abroad, not focusing on meditation or ashram life during the time immediately preceding his first darshan experience.
(43) Ceremonial fire pit, often kept continuously burning.
(44) Descent of grace; transmission of shakti, from one soul to another, as one candle can light another. A powerful mechanism of healing and enlightenment.
(45) Holy statue worshipped as a symbol God.
(46) Gold, silver, copper, tin, and lead.
(47) A physical object that can act as a divine energy channel. Some power objects automatically transmit blessing energy to anyone present (with or without their doing or knowing anything), while others require a PIN code to access. They come into being in a variety of ways: occurring naturally in nature; any object blessed or manifested by Mother Divine, Shiva, an angel, or a divine soul; anything your guru gives to you; a mala used in japa meditation; an object that is worshipped with great bhakti. Power objects implement through the Five Elements’ mechanisms to transmit cosmic power and shaktipat to the soul.
(48) Fall to the ground and place head and hands down in reverence.
(49) Mother Divine is every soul’s source and destination; a practitioner without clarity and the guru’s grace during darshan its possible your soul can leave your body to merge with Mother Divine. This results in the death of the practitioner.
(50) Miraculously created, seemingly out of thin air.
(51) dvaita: Perceiving the world of opposites, and distinction: good and bad, light and dark, etc. As opposed to perceiving only unity/oneness (advaita)
Nityaananda (Clint Thompson, MD)
After experiencing the power of Sai Shakti Healing first hand from Sri Kaleshwar, he gave up his Western medical practice to study healing in India. For 15 years, he was trained directly by Sri Kaleshwar then asked by him to train other healers in the West. Nityaananda was Sri Kaleshwar's personal physician; he is the author of The Awareness of Healing. He founded the Divine Lineage Healing Center in 2004.